Happy 3rd Blogiversary, I mean Belated Blogiversary
Wow, it was 3 years and a few weeks since I first started this blog Aug. 15, 2005. I never meant to blog every day but I was hoping for a once a week but the beginning of this year wasn't the best I've had in the last 3 years. On a happy note I'm doing a 100% better, loving my dyeing, knitting and family (not all in that order,hehe).
To celebrate these 3 years I will be giving away 3 prizes .
Grand Prize is: 3 skeins of Harry Potter inspired yarn, one "The Boy Who Lived"colorway in Nymph weight, "Ron" colorway in Sprite weight and "Hermoine" colorway in the Pixie weight from my etsy store "Faery Fiber"
2nd Prize is 1 skeins of Harry Potter inspired yarn "Dolores" colorway in the Pixie weight from my etsy store "Faery Fiber"
3rd Prize is 1 skein of Harry Potter inspired yarn "Death Eater" colorway in the Nymph weight from my etsy store "Faery Fiber"
All will come with a pair of skull stitch markers since we are closing in on Halloween!
Now, what you have to do, well that is easy..Just leave a comment on this post with the best joke you have. It can be clean or dirty ;) take your pick..just one that is going to have hubby and I laughing our asses off. The blogiversary contest closes Sept 30/08.
To celebrate these 3 years I will be giving away 3 prizes .
Grand Prize is: 3 skeins of Harry Potter inspired yarn, one "The Boy Who Lived"colorway in Nymph weight, "Ron" colorway in Sprite weight and "Hermoine" colorway in the Pixie weight from my etsy store "Faery Fiber"
2nd Prize is 1 skeins of Harry Potter inspired yarn "Dolores" colorway in the Pixie weight from my etsy store "Faery Fiber"
3rd Prize is 1 skein of Harry Potter inspired yarn "Death Eater" colorway in the Nymph weight from my etsy store "Faery Fiber"
All will come with a pair of skull stitch markers since we are closing in on Halloween!
Now, what you have to do, well that is easy..Just leave a comment on this post with the best joke you have. It can be clean or dirty ;) take your pick..just one that is going to have hubby and I laughing our asses off. The blogiversary contest closes Sept 30/08.
posted by Tammy at Sunday, August 31, 2008
9 Comments:
Well, I'm always a fan of the "this guy" and the "that's what she said" jokes, but here are a few marriage jokes I liked:
"A couple was getting married, and it was only three days before the wedding. The bride calls her mother with some bad news. "Mom," she says, "I just found out that my fiance's mother has bought the exact same dress as you to wear to the wedding." The bride's mother thinks for a minute. "Don't worry," she tells her daughter. "I'll just go and buy another dress to wear to the ceremony." "But mother," says the bride, "that dress cost a fortune. What will you do with it? It's such a waste not to use it." "Who said I won't use it?" her mother asked. "I'll just wear it to the rehearsal dinner.""
or
"The child was a typical four-year-old girl - cute, inquisitive, and bright as a new penny. When she expressed difficulty in grasping the concept of marriage, her father decided to pull out his wedding photo album, thinking visual images would help. One page after another, he pointed out the bride arriving at the church, the entrance, the wedding ceremony, the recessional, the reception, etc. "Now do you understand?" he asked. "I think so," she said. "That was when mommy came to work for us?""
congrats on 3 years!
happy three years blogging...
A woman is doing some long distance driving and has a knitting project she just wants to finish. The road is pretty straight and the afternoon light is right- so she decides to knit while driving to pass the time. Excited that she has only a few hours of driving to go she hurries to finish her sweater. Racing to finish her knitting and not realizing she is driving so fast - she flies by a parked trooper going 90 mph. Focused on the pattern, she doesn't notice the flashing lights and siren behind her and continues to drive on. The officer in chase speeds up beside her with the windows rolled down and yells "Pull Over! Pull over!" She looks at him and then looks at her knitting and replies.."No, it's a cardigan."
Sadly, my joke mentality right now is limited to what you'd use in front of a 4 year old to get her to laugh. My recent one is knock-knock jokes.
Me: Knock knock
you: Who's there?
Me: Banana
you: Banana who
Me: Knock Knock
you: who's there
Me: Banana
you: Banana who
me: Knock knock
you: who's there?
me: banana
you: banana who?
me: knock knock
you: who's there?
me: orange
you: orange who?
me: orange you glad I didn't say banana?
Stupid, yes...but it's all I can think of at the moment. I used ot know a good one about a farmer, his wife, stranded visitors, and sheep who lie, but the details are all sketchy.
"There were three medieval kingdoms on the shores of a lake. There was an island in the middle of the lake over which the kingdoms had been fighting for years. Finally, the kings decided that they would send their knights out to do battle, and the winner would take the island.
The night before the battle, the knights and their squires pitched camp and readied themselves for the fight. The first kingdom had 12 knights, and each knight had five squires, all of whom were busily polishing armor, brushing horses, and cooking food. The second kingdom had twenty knights, and each knight had 10 squires. Everyone at that camp was also busy preparing for battle. At the camp of the third kingdom, there was only one knight, with his squire. This squire took a large pot and hung it from a looped rope in a tall tree. He busied himself preparing the meal, while the knight polished his own armor.
When the hour of the battle came, the three kingdoms sent their squires out to fight (this was too trivial a matter for the knights to join in). The battle raged, and when the dust had cleared, the only person left was the lone squire from the third kingdom, having defeated the squires from the other two kingdoms, thus proving that the squire of the high pot and noose is equal to the sum of the squires of the other two sides."
Sorry for the bad pun, although it's not the worst one I've heard as a math student. Happy (belated) blogiversary!
A man checks into a hotel on a business trip and was a bit lonely.He thought of one of those girls you see adverstied in phone booths when you're calling a cab. He popped into a phone booth near the hotel and found an ad for a girl calling herself Erogonique, a lovely girl, bending over in the photo.She had all the right curves in all the right places, beautiful long wavy hair, long graceful legs all the way up to her...you know the type.He copied down the phone number and returned to his hotel. When back in his room he figures, what the hell,give her a call.
Hello?the woman says. God she sounds sexy.
Hi, I hear you give a great massage and I'd like you to come to my room and give me one. No, wait, I should be straight with you. I'm in town all alone and what I really want is sex. I want it hard, hot and I want it now.I'm talking kinky, the whole night long. You name it, we'll do it.
Bring implements, toys, everything you've got in your bag of tricks..We'll go hot and heavy all night long. Tie me up, cover me in chocolate syrup and whipped cream, anything you want baby. Now how does that sound??
She says, That sounds fantastic....but
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Deb
Happy late Blogiversary!!! i have nothing funny though ;)
A mother was walking down the hall when she heard a humming sound coming from her daughters bedroom. When she opened the door she found her daughter naked on the bed with a vibrator.
"What are you doing?" She exclaimed.
The daughter replied, "I'm 35 and still living at home with my parents and this is the closest I'll ever get to a husband."
Later that week the father was in the kitchen and heard a humming sound coming from the basement. When he went downstairs, he found his Daughter naked on a sofa with her vibrator.
"What are you doing?" He exclaimed.
The daughter replied, "I'm 35 and still living at home with my parents and this is the closest I'll ever get to a husband."
A couple of days later the mother heard the humming sound again, this time in the living room.
Upon entering the room, she found her husband watching television with the vibrator buzzing away beside him.
"What are you doing?" She asked.
He replied, "Watching the game with my son-in-law."
Ok, I have two. One that I can put in the comments and the other one is a bit too dirty include here. It is hilarious though, so I will email it to you if you want. (it isn't that bad, just too bad for the comments section)
Joke #1
Little Davie attended a horse auction with his father. He watched as his father moved from horse to horse, running his hands up and down the horse's legs, rump, and chest. After a few minutes, Davie asked, "Dad, why are you doing that?" His father replied, "Because when I'm buying horses, I have to make sure that they are healthy and in good shape before I buy." Davie, looking worried, said, "Dad, I think the UPS guy wants to buy Mom.
ok, after reading 2 of the other jokes...I think I can post my other dirty one. LOL!
VASELINE !!!!
Joe wanted to buy a motorbike. He doesn't have much luck until, one day he comes across a Harley with a 'For Sale' sign on it. The bike seems even better than a new one, although it is 10 years old. It is shiny and in absolute mint condition. He immediately buys it, and asks the seller how he kept it in such great condition for 10 years. "Well, it's quite simple, really," says the seller, "whenever the bike is outside and it's going to rain, rub Vaseline on the chrome. It protects it from the rain." And he hands Joe a jar of Vaseline. That night, his girlfriend, Sandra, invites him over to meet her parents. Naturally, they take the bike there but just before they enter the house, Sandra stops him and says, "I have to tell you something about my family before we go in. When we eat dinner, we don't talk. In fact, the first person who says anything during dinner has to do the dishes."
"No problem," he says. And in they go.
Joe is shocked. Right smack in the middle of the living room is a huge stack of dirty dishes. In the kitchen is another huge stack of dishes. Piled up on the stairs, in the corridor, everywhere he looks, dirty dishes. They sit down to dinner and, sure enough, no one says a word. As dinner progresses, Joe decides to take advantage of the situation. So he leans over and kisses Sandra. No one says a word. So he reaches over and fondles her breasts. Still, nobody says a word. So he stands up, grabs her, rips her clothes off, throws her on the table, and takes her right there, in front of her parents. His girlfriend is a little flustered, her dad is obviously livid, and her mom horrified when he sits back down, but no one says a word. He looks at her mom. "She's got a great body," he thinks. So he grabs the mom, bends her over the dinner table, and has his way with her every which way right there on the dinner table. Now his girlfriend is furious and her dad is boiling, but still, total silence. All of a sudden there is a loud clap of thunder, and it starts to rain.
Joe remembers his bike, so he pulls the jar of Vaseline from his pocket.
Suddenly the father backs away from the table and shouts, "All right, that's enough, I'll do the f#%*ing dishes!"
Happy Blogiversary!!
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